A reflection on leaving Naples
I contemplate putting on my sunglasses.
As if I am safer behind the plastic shades.
A girl with a scar above her right eye hugs me goodbye.
The breeze from a stopping train rushes by.
Squealing breaks, open doors
No where to sit.
No smoking inside.
I stand with focus, watching others.
Sedate with thumbs on screens
right, right, left, up, left, down
A pregnant woman is given a seat.
Two girls kiss.
On one hand
My fingers hold to the metal bar
On the other
A glass jar of drinking water is held tight
like an extension of my left arm
We pass Pompeii
To a tiny peninsula in southern Italy
Oranges and lemons glow
Like tiny flames in a grove of of trees
I move with unfamiliar ease
Like a professional ice skater learning to swim.
One day I will burn these clothes and shoes.
For now they are all I've got.
Not long ago I asked,
No,
I begged for fire and flames to engulf me.
Now I stand at the mouth of a volcano
Wondering how I arrived
And why this path choose me
My cheeks red
Lips chapped
Lungs desperate for cool air
Chest aches for the addicting heat
Fear sits close by wearing a mask of flames
"What were you expecting,"
The wise clouds ask with laughter "A cinnamon Iced frapaccino?"
I think for a moment unsure and then say,
"Something warm, but not burning.
Something memorable but not obvious.
Something thrilling but not dangerous."
"Dear daughter of the Moon,
You have entered a world ruled by the Sun
You cannot fight this fire inside or out"
The clouds above drift and swirl
Fear rises at once
"Don't you see how dangerous this place is?
It feels like your whole body is falling apart and the world is eating you alive!"
The Fear howls until my voice cracks and I have nothing left.
"What are you talking about?"
I stare squarely into the eyes of fear
"This place is the same as everywhere else we have been
Rocks, water, dirt, animals, people, plants, clouds, and........ Fire
Only arranged differently"
I calmly respond,
"You Fear, are a battler of power.
You are darkness sweeping through me.
Though I listen, I can not feed nor give you shelter."
I look to the sky and shout
"Clouds," I yell louder, "Clouds!"
They do not respond.
"The clouds are gone," Fear whispers and grins, gaining strength
"All you see is smoke rolling in the blue sky. Just the by-product of fire teasing you.
Ha ha ha smoke will only suffocate you"
I look down and see my body charred, scarred, and black with ash.
"You see moonchild"
My eyes widen and once more,
I hear the soothing voice of the clouds
"I am just the by-product of water.
One day smoke will be the creator of Earth
So do not turn away with despair
Give it space and respect
Look for nourishment in the soot
Take out the drums and Celebrate.
Celebrate the pain and flames,
In shades of copper, scarlet, gold, and black
For darkness, fear and fire
Are nothing from to hide."
"Of course."
I close my eyes and drop my head
Pretending I know this like the back of my hand.
Fear begins to look like a toothless shark wading in a puddle
Sorrento
The sun gently falls into the sea
I see black shadows cast against a golden wall
Hundreds of figures in black robes and pointy hats
Carry torches in the street In front of an ancient cathedral
I hear the sound of trumpets and children singing
Single flames flicker on window sills
Long rows of candles are lit on sidewalks
I follow the flames and the music is growing louder
Steel drums now pound with each step
Above I see my mother
The great moon in the sky to full it could explode
Grey Clouds wade like gentle guardians in the night
I have broken into a million pieces for this moment of feat
The Clouds, The Sea, The Moon, The Fire, The Music
An honor of death and life and everything in between
Fear feels like something that I once knew
Like a song I sleep with peace and grace
And wake to rain rain rain
All the way to Spain
